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Humor Times blog - by James Israel

I publish a monthly paper called the Humor Times, available via subscription anywhere in the world. This blog allows me to comment in a more timely manner on current events, etc., since, after all, I have plenty to say!

Friday, September 26, 2008

The News That Didn’t Make the News: Project Censored

Project Censored came out with their latest, and while they're all doosies, it was the story they ranked #5 that blew me away. The ones before it may well deserve their rankings, but they weren't surprises to me. (Although they would be to a majority of Americans, unfortunately -- thus the name, "Project Censored.") This one, thought, did surprise -- and sicken -- me.

# 5 Seizing War Protesters’ Assets (Excerpts:)
President Bush signed two executive orders that would allow the US Treasury Department to seize the property of any person perceived to, directly or indirectly, pose a threat to US operations in the Middle East.

The first of these executive orders, titled “Blocking Property of Certain Persons Who Threaten Stabilization Efforts in Iraq,” signed by Bush on July 17, 2007, authorizes the Secretary of Treasury, in consultation with the Secretary of State and the Secretary of Defense, to confiscate the assets of US citizens and organizations who “directly or indirectly” pose a risk to US operations in Iraq...

The act further authorizes freezing the assets of “a spouse or dependent child” of any person whose property is frozen. The executive order on Lebanon also bans providing food, shelter, medicine, or any humanitarian aid to those whose assets have been seized—including the “dependent children” referred to above.

Vaguely written and dangerously open to broad interpretation, this unconstitutional order allows for the arbitrary targeting of any American for dispossession of all belongings and demands ostracism from society...

In an editorial for the Washington Times, Fein states, “The person subject to an asset freeze is reduced to a leper. The secretary’s financial death sentences are imposed without notice or an opportunity to respond, the core of due process. They hit like a bolt of lightning. Any person whose assets are frozen immediately confronts a comprehensive quarantine. He may not receive and benefactors may not provide funds, goods, or services of any sort. A lawyer cannot provide legal services to challenge the secretary’s blocking order. A doctor cannot provide medical services in response to a cardiac arrest.”

G.W., and his enablers, seem to think he's king. He thinks he can pick any person opposing his war, and not only take everything that person and his family own, he can make it illegal for anyone to help him.

And I can't decide which is worse: the unconstitutional behavior of a leader gone mad, or the press that didn't think it was important enough to let us know about it!

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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

How the Ohio vote was stolen - as told by a Republican

Extremely important stuff! Please read this article and forward it to everyone you know!

How the GOP Wired Ohio's 2004 Vote Count for Bush to Win
By Steven Rosenfeld
A Republican computer data security expert tells how cyber-partisans could have stolen the 2004 election. Read more...

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NOW we're talking!!!

“Simply purchasing bad debt, ‘cash for trash’ and not receiving anything of value or giving $700 billion and not having a commensurate equity interest in Wall Street firms is unacceptable,” Dennis Kucinich said in a news release Monday. “No ‘cash for trash.’”

The former Democratic presidential candidate said he would be introducing a bill this week to create a United States Mutual Trust Fund to convert assets purchased by the government into shares that would be distributed to every man, woman and child in the country. Every American would receive about $2,300 worth of shares because that is the cost of the bailout package to each individual, Kucinich said.

http://rawstory.com/news/2008/Kucinich_No_cash_for_trash_give_0922.html

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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

If you were The Boss, which team would you hire?

I received this in an email recently, I thought it was pretty pertinent. What do you think?

If You were The Boss... Which team would you hire?

With America facing historic debt, multiple war fronts, stumbling health care, a weakened dollar, all-time high prison population, skyrocketing Federal spending, mortgage crisis, bank foreclosures, etc. etc., this is an unusually critical election year.

Let's look at the educational background of the candidates and see what they bring to the job:

Barack Obama:
Punahou School - Grades 5 to 12, Hawaii's most prestigious private school
Occidental College - Two years of undergraduate study.
Columbia University - B.A. political science majoring in international relations.
Harvard University - Juris Doctor (J.D.) (Attorney), (Magna Cum Laude), first African-American editor of the most prestigious law school publication, "Harvard Law Review."

Joseph Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in history and B.A. in political science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.) (Attorney)
U.S. Senate, first elected at age 29, continuous service since

VS.

John McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank 894 out of 899 (meaning that, like George Bush, McCain was at the bottom of his class)

Sarah Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in journalism

Now, which team are you going to hire? THINK FUTURE!

As a side note, Matt Damon's opinion is pretty entertaining (short video).

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Monday, September 22, 2008

GOP got their wish -- Gov't drowned in a bathtub

Conservatives got their wish: over the years since the Reagan administration -- admittedly helped along by Clinton -- they managed to squeeze government down small enough to "drown in a bathtub," as conservative Grover Norquist put it. The financial regulatory function of the government has been moribund for some time now.

Well, staring us in the face is the awesome and terrible result.

And now we're supposed to take John McCain's word for it that, after 26 years of complete and utter allegiance to the philosophy of deregulation -- proudly proclaimed from his own lips many times -- he knows best how to create a just, sane, orderly, fair-to-the-taxpayer structure of regulation out of the pile of rubble and dust that he, his economic guru Phil "You Bunch of Whiners" Gramm, and his team of die-hard deregulation-loving lobbyists have left us? Uh-uh. I don't think so.

The whole conservative philosophy of "getting government out of the way, so that the private sector can do what it wants, because the market will correct and police itself," is today totally bankrupt. It was already proven to be a bankrupt philosophy back in 1929. Back then, it required Roosevelt's New Deal to repair the financial devastation left behind, and it will require an even Newer Deal now.

All along the way, we have seen examples showing us that lack of regulation is disastrous in a capitalist system, but we allowed these clowns to remain in control of the levers of power anyway. So, they continued to make it easy for greedy slimeballs to take advantage of the lack of oversight. And when their behavior caused a major problem? Government bailout to the rescue!

The same government they had been trying to drown in a bathtub the whole time. "Privatize the gains, but socialize the losses." That's their real, unspoken, philosophy. Meaning the government picks up the tab for their high-risk and unethical behavior.

But wait! Who is this benevolent parent that always has enough to save the day? Why it's us -- we're the government, remember -- and it's our pockets these greedy bastards are picking every time their get-rich-as-quick-as-possible schemes implode.

Sure, something has to be done. But does that mean we rush a bill through on the say so of the president, no matter what? (Isn't that the same thing Bush did with the war and then the Patriot Act?) Does it mean we give total control over to his administration to do what they will with obscene piles of cash that are supposed to materialize out of thin air, and without any oversight? That's what Treasury Secretary Paulson demands. Yes, he has the gall to actually DEMAND it!

If this whole scene weren't so outrageously obscene, it would be funny.

But think about it, this whole mess could be an opportunity. Just as the Chinese word weiji, translated as "crisis," is composed of the characters for "danger" and "opportunity," we could, if we were a people worth our salt, use this crisis as an opportunity to completely revamp the financial system. The time is ripe, and if ever the people were ready for effective change, it is now.

But fear and ignorance will likely prevail instead. Fear of change, and general civilian ignorance of the depth and breadth of the problem and its systemic nature. The entire banking system is corrupt to the core, because it is founded on the Federal Reserve system, which is actually unconstitutional, and antithetical to everything the founders stood for.

It is a private central bank, despite the word 'federal' so deviously included in its title, when it was drafted by a group of the world's most powerful bankers on an island of the coast of Georgia in 1913. Later passed when most lawmakers were out of town in the dead of night near the holidays that year, it obliterated Article I, section 8 of the constitution, which gives Congress the power "To coin money [and] regulate the value thereof." Instead, the Federal Reserve Act let the private bankers start printing the money and regulating its value.

That is an enormous power. It has made the banking families stinking rich, and has slowly put our nation into previously undreamt of amounts of debt.

That act needs to be repealed. Call me radical -- this crisis calls for a radical solution, or we become China's property, basically.

After we abolish the Fed, and the government (that's us) regains the power of the purse, we set up a sane financial regulatory system. Then we freeze the assets of those in the financial sector who made off like bandits, and sort out what is ill-gotten gains, and do our best to return that money to where it came from.

We immediately institute a tax on offshored businesses, and steadily increase the rate of that tax, to give a powerful incentive to keep our nation's business at home, and our own people employed.

Then, we forgive all debt. Wipe the slate clean. Everyone gets their houses back, and the economy is instantly back on an even footing. We can all flourish once again.

Socialism? A dose, perhaps, temporarily. As are the bailouts these financial titans want -- only their brand of socialism -- corporate socialism -- is only for them, not the general population.

Insane? Could be. But I'd argue that a continuation of the present system is what's insane. After all, insanity can be defined as doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting different results.

Sure, some will get hurt worse than others in this scheme. But no one will be in too bad of shape, as they will not be in debt. Some financial "wizards" of the present system may have to find new jobs, but hey -- they didn't mind telling that to all the people put out of work in their globalization schemes.

With the so-called "pillars" of our economy falling like dominoes, what have we got to lose?

We have national pride, and a sane, prosperous society, to gain.

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Friday, September 19, 2008

The day I ran into Karl Rove and Robert Kennedy, Jr. (separately)

OK, I didn't actually meet them both. Or either one of them. But I did get to within 20-30 feet of them. And no, they weren't together. I don't think they're best buds. Well, here's how it happened...

Through the local email grapevine, I learned that the infamous Karl Rove, aka "Bush's Brain" aka "Fear-mongering, truth-twisting, congressional subpoena-avoiding, sewer-residing dirty-trickster," would be speaking at the Sacramento Convention Center in downtown Sacramento for the Sacramento Metro Chamber's annual public affairs forum, "Perspectives." As it turned out, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Deepak Chopra and even funny man Frank Caliendo were invited, although I didn't know that when I headed down there.

An informal gathering of like-minded people representing various groups showed up to demonstrate for the arrest of ol' Turd Blossom, as the prez is said to call him, for his unlawful refusal to obey a congressional subpoena and show up to testify. Why he, or anyone, is allowed to get away with this, I don't know. He's clearly flaunting the law, but as a former member of the Bush administration, I guess he's above the law. Don't you know? They all are, especially the Law-Breaker-in-Chief, George W. himself.

Anyway, this small band of citizens – who happen to still believe this is a nation of laws – showed up with signs and Rove masks and stood on the corner, supported by honking citizens driving by on their way to and from lunch breaks, etc. (I think we would have had a bigger group, except that it was on a Friday morning, lasting until one o'clock.) At one point, I donned a Karl Rove mask and a Code Pink woman in a cop's costume (with a pink shirt, of course), handcuffed me as cameras flashed in a bit of street theater. Our message was serious, but hey, you've got to have a little fun while you're at it.

Later, as we were getting ready to pack up the signs and leave, Mr. Kennedy came jogging up the sidewalk flanked by a couple cops and ran into the building. Why he didn't go in the back through the VIP entrance, I don't know. It happened so fast, no one had time to say anything to him, and I missed by big chance to give him a copy of the Humor Times. But it was cool to see him that close and in person, as he is one of my heroes, a tireless worker for environmental issues and a fine writer.

After we said our goodbyes, I hopped on my bike and started heading home. I only got halfway down the front of the convention center building when all the traffic was suddenly stopped by the police. I rode up to the front of the traffic, and was told to stop there. A silver sedan of some kind was sitting there in a little-used driveway coming from around the center, waiting for some VIP or another. I figured it couldn't be anyone too big, since it wasn't a big black limousine. But then, Karl Rove himself came waltzing up, was escorted into the car, and they drove away.

He was within about 30 feet, too far to spit. Besides, all those cops... you know, probably would not have turned out well for me. I only saw him for a second, and he was in the car, so I didn't even have time to yell anything. But I was struck by how small and human he looked. The guy is larger than life in the American psyche, but he's just a small balding man. Just another American citizen. Who should be locked up, stripped of his citizenship, and sent to Guantanamo. Ok, I don't really believe that, because I believe we really ought to stick with the good ol' Constitution. However, if they ARE going to indefinitely detain people, then those who help start illegal, immoral and devastating wars, strip us of our Constitutional rights, spy on us, drive our world standing and our economy into the ground and try to elevate an egotistical blockhead into a king are good candidates.

At the very least, lock him up for Contempt of Congress!

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Friday, September 12, 2008

What the Democrats need to do: Interview with Drew Westen, author of "The Political Brain"

This is a really GREAT interview with Drew Westen, the author of The Political Brain, on what Democrats need to do in their campaign to connect with the emotional side of voters. It also should be taken in by everyone who wants to be able to convince those on the fence, and maybe even open-minded Republicans, that Bush, McCain, Palin & Co don't own a patent on "American values."

It's only 9 minutes long, and you can watch it on your computer.

Obama in Danger?
NOW: "Are tactical mistakes by Obama going to cost him the election? Psychologist and Democratic political consultant Drew Westen talks to NOW's David Brancaccio about how appealing to voters' emotions reaps bigger electoral rewards than hammering home policy proposals."

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You asked for it, Sarah Palin, you got it

"Show me where I have ever said that there's absolute proof that nothing that man has ever conducted or engaged in has had any effect or no effect on climate change," Palin told ABC News in an interview broadcast Thursday and Friday. "I have not said that."

Show you? Since you can't remember anything you've said, and are always contradicting yourself (like on the 'bridge to nowhere' thing), I'm here to help:

"When a species' habitat (in this case, sea ice) is declining due to climate change, but there are no discrete human activities that can be regulated or modified to effect change, what do you do?" -- you wrote this (my emphasis) in a letter to Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne in December 2006 about listing the polar bear as a threatened species.

"A changing environment will affect Alaska more than any other state, because of our location... I'm not one, though, who would attribute it to being man-made." -- Yup, that's you, Guv, on the Internet news site Newsmax just last month!

"I'm not an Al Gore, doom-and-gloom environmentalist blaming the changes in our climate on human activity." -- Yep, you again, Ms. Palin, in an interview with the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner this year.

There are many more lies you have already been caught on in the short time the press has begun to check you out, and I'm sure there will be many more. But since this was the only one you asked about, I'll stop there for now, out of deference. After all, you're an expert on the Russians, since your state is so close to a remote region of their country, so I'm sure you must be an expert on all foreign policy, and everything else!

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Thursday, September 11, 2008

Notes from the Angry Left

George W Bush, the presidential no-show at his own party's convention, nevertheless launched a new Rovian "talking point" for his side when, during his televised speech at the convention he said, " "If the Hanoi Hilton could not break John McCain's resolve to do what is best for his country, you can be sure the angry Left never will."

The idea, I'm sure, in true Karl Rove fashion, was to try to nullify a major strength of the left at this point, which is indeed righteous anger. I suppose their hope is that by making fun of how pissed off we are, it will force us to try to play nice.

To hell with that.

I say, let's own our anger! We've got good reason to be more than indignant, we should be furious. Like the fictional TV news anchor in the movie Network, we should be shouting from the rooftops that we're "MAD AS HELL, and we're not going to take it any more!!!"

These idiots have tanked our economy, ruined our standing in the world, put unqualified cronies in positions of power that are destroying the environment while enriching their corporate "constituents," increased the threat of terrorist attacks against us by fomenting hatred against us (talk about angry) with this illegal and immoral war, continuously lied to Congress and the people, given no-bid contracts to their past employers (in Cheney's case), and ran campaigns with no substance but plenty of lies and innuendo against their opponents -- all with the help of a compliant press that 90% of the time refuses to do its job of investigative journalism and seeking out the truth.

And I've only scratched the surface here.

Angry? You bet. Incensed? You got it. Infuriated? Uh huh. Enraged? Oh yeah. Irate? Oh boy, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

You want to dodge the issues, while trying to distract the voters with your B.S. labels and full-of-it attempts at fear tactics, attempting to scare us into voting for four more years of unmitigated disaster? You want to play hardball, you slimy no-good traitorous rats? In the words of your lame duck White House resident, "Bring it on!"

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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

God Obviously Favors Dems This Time Around

Can you imagine the comments from the Limbaughs, the Hannitys, the O'Reillys and the Coulters had Gustav hit during the Democratic Convention, and/or a rainstorm had dampened their big finale in the Denver stadium? You know, we've heard it before, they would have been all over it, saying God was exhibiting his disapproval of the Dem's "Godless" ways. In fact, Focus on the Family actually prayed for a storm of biblical proportions to disrupt Barack Obama’s outdoor acceptance speech!

But Denver weather was exceedingly beautiful for Obama's speech, and come the first day of the Republican Convention – whoa! Their prayers were answered! A hurricane! And in New Orleans, no less, site of the Republican administration's worst nightmare. Is God trying to tell us something? Perhaps even the Old Man in the Sky is so tired of the lying, the thieving, the torturing, the scandals, the desecration of nature, the murdering by the current administration, that He felt it was time for Divine Intervention? Or maybe it was just the 17-year-old daughter of Palin being 5 months pregnant that stirred His Heavenly Ire?

Hey, I don't think that way, but I'm simply applying their own logic right back on the GOP. If you dish it out, you better be ready to take it! God wants the Dems back in the White House – don't cross Him, America!

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Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Arresting Protesters Before They Protest - in the USA!

"Are we still living in The United States of America? Is it still the land of the free? I'm a bit confused. Since when do we raid homes of possible protesters, before they even have a chance to protest?" -- Care2.com

Check out these videos of folks getting interviewed after police raids in Minneapolis. On the weekend before the Republican National Convention, law enforcement agencies detained dozens of people and issued a series of search warrants aimed at groups believed to be organizing demonstrations while delegates and Republican officials are in town. Some were charged with "conspiracy to commit riot" -- basically thought crimes. And the reason for the raids were very far off the mark -- these are young people, living in neighborhoods where everyone knows them (neighbors are interviewed as well), and thinks they are great kids. They were simply planning to demonstrate, a right of free people, enshrined in our Constitution.

Denver was bad enough, with the Orwellian "free speech" zones we've all come to know and hate, but in Minneapolis, it's getting to be gestapo-type tactics. What is this country coming to? We can't abide this. It's just not right.

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